I thought I would kick off the new year with something completely different, a post about a taboo topic…cheating.
This is something that I feel a bit hypercritical about posting as I absolutely hate cheaters and don’t understand why people do it but in saying that I have known and do know people who have cheated on their current partners & previous partners and I have never told that person what their partner has done nor are they aware to this day.
Does that make me a horrible person? Does that make me a hypocrite? maybe, I am honestly not sure.
There so many sayings about cheating like “once a cheater always a cheater” & “a leopard never changes it’s spots” which whilst I do think people can make mistakes and learn from them I would say that 9/10 people that do cheat have cheated again either on that same partner or in their next relationship which out of the people that I know that have cheated they have done it on more then 1 occasion.
I think cheating is like an addiction like a drug, the high of the chase and the fear of not getting caught can be too much for people to turn down & even if they do love the person that they are with they still crave and need that high of being with someone else to fulfill them.
The scenarios, I think that confuses me the most is the ones where the ‘third party’ was aware that the other person was in a relationship and still continued to be with them however expects that, that person will be different with them once they are in a relationship I am sorry but I am calling bullshit… if someone can cheat on their partner who they are married to and have kids or whatever the case is with what makes you think that they wouldn’t do the same to you & even if they don’t cheat on you how do you ever trust that person knowing that they have previously cheated?.
People are always so daring with who they choose to cheat with, like the boss that sleeps with his assistant or co-worker or the woman that sleeps with her partners best friend & yes these situations aren’t just movie blockbusters or an episode of Jerry Springer they do happen but in all of these scenarios the risk of getting caught is so high and yet so many people choose to run that risk on a daily basis which is confirmed in a survey conducted in October 2018 by Trustify (link to their blog) 18% of people met the person they cheated with at work or in a social setting i.e kids go to the same school or they are in the same social groups
In this survey of the 200 people that were surveyed when asked why they cheated 23% of the men said it was due to lack of sexual satisfaction & 28% of the women surveyed said it was due to lack of emotional satisfaction however none of the people surveyed said they cheated due to them no longer being romantically interested in their current partner.
So basically the men need more sex and the women need to be more emotional satisfied which seems easy enough but then you add in outside factors such as work, kids, other commitments which then assist with driving a wedge sexually and emotionally between the couple HOWEVER I think in my opinion people need to try harder in their relationships yes I have to at times (even recently) been so focused on work that I have completely skipped out on proper communication and time with my partner so I get it, it is easy to get side tracked however if you want to make your relationship work you need to set aside the time to really connect physically & emotionally with your spouse.
I also think open and honest communication is key, a lot of people cheat or sleep with other people or sometimes even prostitutes because they are afraid to tell their partner what they like sexually if it is something that is a little quirky or different so they either cheat or use the services of prostitutes etc because they wont be ‘judged’ for their sexual requests, but with 50 shades of grey, sex stores and the watching of porn becoming so main stream you may be surprised by what your partner is willing to do in the bedroom or outside of it if that’s what your into.. a relationship is all about communication so don’t be afraid to speak up about your sexual fantasies as they may be reciprocated.
What are your thoughts on cheating? have you ever cheated or been cheated on?
I would love to hear your opinions in the comments